Pastor Weaver's Christmas Eve Message 2009

A Gift, A Free Gift, With No Strings Attached

One of these days, I'm finally going to do something at the mall that I've been talking about doing for a long time. I've never actually done it, because I'm usually with other people, and I don't want to embarrass them. Not that that usually stops me when I get what only I think is a clever idea in my head. And I probably still won't ever really do it, because the only person who will have to deal with me is not the person who is responsible for my annoyance either, and I know it's not nice to make trouble for an employee with no control over corporate policy. But one of these days, I keep telling myself, I'll actually do it.

Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to walk in to one of the big department stores that has cosmetic counters. And I'll go up to one that has up the sign that bothers me, (and each one of them puts up this same sign once a year) – and I will say “good day, I'm here for my free gift. I'm not going to buy anything, but I'm not leaving until I get my free gift.” See, I don't actually have any interest in cosmetics, but I do have an interest in the proper use of the English language. And right after the number one offense of intentionally spelling things wrong, the number two crime in advertising, in my never so humble opinion is this: you should never call something a free gift, or even just a gift – if you have to buy something to get it. That's not a gift. It's a bonus. Of course, if you know anything at all about the cosmetics counter, and how I know this I am still not sure, but they all have another promotion each year called bonus. And goodness knows that the first rule of advertising is to convince the buyer they are getting more than they are, so you can't call the same thing by the same name on more than one occasion – so they call it a gift. They could call it an extra, a special, lots of other things. It truly bothers me that they call it a gift.

It bothers me because not only do I take the language seriously, I take gifts seriously. I was told by a colleague a couple of years ago that gift giving is my love language. I laughed that off and dismissed it. I think my exact words were “ok, easy there Oprah.” At the time, that kind of thing sounded ridiculous to me. But as I learned more about the concept, I've come to embrace the idea of love languages. When doing pre-marital counseling, one of the major topics I try to cover is how we all communicate differently. How we communicate love is part of that natural human difference. Dr. Gary Chapman's book, The Five Love Languages defines these languages as words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, receiving and giving gifts.For one person, saying the words I LOVE YOU or YOU MEAN A LOT TO ME is hard, but fixing something around the house that needs done is second nature. We all have a preferred way to give love, and to get love.

Dr Chapman has followed up this concept with another book called God Speaks Your Love Language. This is where my the idea finally caught my attention. We speak of God as a God of love all the time. And the major element of Christianity's understanding of God – what we gather for right here this very night to celebrate - is that God speaks to us in languages we can understand. God is not an idea, a concept, a far-off cosmic presence. We read in the Gospel of John that “The word became flesh and lived among us.” We celebrate the birth of this child, because the child Jesus became the man Jesus, who showed us the Christ Jesus. To know God is to know Christ. To know Christ is to know a God who loves, and loves unconditionally.

How did Jesus speak these love languages? Well on words of affirmation, we could say he may appear to have mixed reactions. O you of little faith! Get behind me Satan! You faithless and perverse generation, how much longer must I be with you? How much longer must I put up with you? He used strong words for strong occasions. But on balance, we have much more to remind us of Christ's love for us. He tells the disciples “I no longer call you servants, but friends.” To Peter whom he called Satan once, he says “on this rock I will build my church.” That sounds pretty affirming to me.

How about the love language of quality time? In Jesus' earthly life, I think of the transfiguration that was experienced by Peter James and John. And to all of us he promises to be with us always, to the end of the age. Through the Holy Spirit, we feel God's presence millenia past the time of Jesus' earthly existence. God's kingdom is a promise of eternity. Quality time is a given.

Though the idea of physical touch is not something we tend to experience from God directly, we see that in the life of Jesus, his touch healed, and brought wholeness. Physical touch is a basic human need. Think of how important a hug can be at the right time. As sharers of God's love, sometimes a hand on the shoulder says more than 1000 words could. To celebrate the birth of Christ is to celebrate the real nature of this word made flesh. As we remember him with the sacrament of his body and blood, we proclaim the real presence of Christ in physical things.

On acts of service, we have the testimony to the whole life of Jesus, as he healed the sick, and restored relationships to people of all kinds of outsider status. Service so defined Jesus, it would be foolish to try to list it all. As John finished his Gospel with this verse: 21:25But there are also many other things that Jesus did; if every one of them were written down, I suppose that the world itself could not contain the books that would be written.

And we come once again finally to this idea of gift giving. God's love comes to us through this love language too. And I have to say it strongly and repetitively if necessary – God's gifts are real gifts. They are not bonuses, or coupons or buy one get one free. They are gifts. The words FREE GIFT should be redundant, but in a world where everything comes with strings attached, perhaps we need to clarify strongly that God's gifts are different. We mean FREE. We mean WITH NO STRINGS ATTACHED. God does not go to the mall looking for something of just the right dollar value based on what is anticipated to be given in return. The gift of life, the gift of salvation, the gift of holy presence in our midst. Free – all of it free.

God loves you. These gifts are for you. They don't even need to be unwrapped, for there is not even a temporary barrier between the gift and us. Paul writes: nothing can separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our lord.

This is what has been under your tree the whole time. Enjoy the gift. And Merry Christmas.

AMEN